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Sender's name: Brian

Message: What is God's view on sex? Does he give anyone a husband/wife if they really want one. I need a wife really bad. I lust for women. Is there hope?

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God's view on sex is positive. After all, he made it. Read the first two chapters of Genesis. God made them made and female. There were to become one flesh. This is not just about having sex, but is more of a mystical oneness. The text reminds us that it is God who joined them together. They are connected. They become one physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

God's view of self-centered sex is repugnant. God did not created humans to use each other for selfish purposes. Those who get married for selfish purposes not only hurt themselves, but they hurt their spouse and if they have children they hurt them as well. NO ONE SHOULD EVER GET MARRIED PURELY FOR SEXUAL REASONS. The description of the sexual part of the relationship in 1 Corinthians 7 makes it clear not just that the woman belongs to the man, but that the man also belongs to the woman. It is mutual. Love (1 Ocr 13) means that you look for your spouse, not for yourself. Love is sacrificial (Eph 5:21-33).

Treating women as an object is wrong and sinful. They are people made in the image of God. Lust is a reality. If there is chronic lust, then there are probably problems that feed it. It is like a fire. The more fuel you put on it, the greater the fire. What you should ask is what is fueling the fire, and get rid of the fuel. Paul said at the end of 1 Cor 9 that he buffets his body and makes it his slave. He will not be mastered by anything.

From experience, I can say that those who are ruled by hormones are heading down a path of self destruction and sin and will likely not only hurt themselves, but those around them as well. James says that we are tempted and will find death when we are "carried away and enticed" by our own lust (James 1:14). When it is lust, rather than true self-sacrificial, godly, kind and compassionate love that leads you to marriage, you are already being carried away by your own lust.

If you have a chronic problem with lust, seek spiritual help. Do it now, don't put it off, and don't let shame or guilt stop you. You will be blessed for taking care of it now.

John Telgren

P.O. Box 452

Leavenworth, KS 66048

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