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Sender:  Tommy


We have three daughters who have all been baptized. I retired from the USMC and preach at a small congragation. Our youngest daughter who is 18 decided she didn't like our rules, no smoking or drinking or staying up all night. The bottom line is we told her to live here she had to live by our rules, so she moved out. She is now living with her boyfriend who does not believe there is a God and she has now taken that same belief. We have told her we love her and our home is always open, I strugle with how much to be in her life and how to respond to her. She has ask me to help her move things with my truck and she comes by from time to time. I tell her that I don't agree with her choices and she needs to get back in the church, but should I cut her off completly like disfellowshiping a brother. I'm affraid if I do that she will not have anyone to provide a christian example. I tell her evertime I see her, I'm concerned for her soul. Do I use the greatest gift of all, love or does this call for something else. I would welcome any advise and prayers.



This is very difficult to deal with.  Perhaps a look at how God was with his wayward people might provide some help.  After all, God is the model father.  He calls Israel his "bride (Hos 1-3)" Hosea, and also calls Israel his "son" (Hos 11:1f).  In Hosea, God is dealing with his people who were disobedient and no longer living right.  In Hosea there is a mixture of discipline and love.  God cut off his bride for awhile in order to let her see that all her "lovers" would abandon her.  She had to learn the hard way.  But God never gave up on her.  He wanted to woo her back.  The same sentiment comes through in Hosea 11.  God would not give up on his child.


The best thing to do is pray for wisdom and let your daughter know that God loves her.  Perhaps she needs to sense some of that love through your actions, which will speak more loudly of God's love than your mere words.  If the disbelief is not emotional, but intellectual, then reason (not argue) with her in wisdom.  Ask the hard questions. 


There are no easy answers, except to love and treat her as God would.




John Telgren

P.O. Box 452

Leavenworth, KS 66048


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