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Sender's name: Casey

Dear John,

My name is Casey and I have a question about something that god may or may not be able to do.  Let me start with this.  About 7 years ago I met a girl whom has grown to be one of my best friends in life. Throughout those last seven years though I feel like ive grown closer to her in my heart.  We dated this last summer but things didnt work out because of college and she said she still isnt ready.  However she has told me Im the kind of guy she wants to be with and that I have the qualities she is looking for when she decides to start dating.  I just feel in my heart that she is the one.  There isnt anything that I would want her to change.  I love this girl and I want her in my life.  I want her more than anything in this world.  Shes all I need to be happy.  I dont need money to be happy because everything she does is just perfect.  I would do anything for her.  I pray so much for a chance.  My question is this.  Can god bring two hearts together?  Can he make my dream come true?  Please help me.




Actually, she is NOT all you need to be happy.  Fulfillment ultimately comes in the one who created you.  His desire is not for you to find happiness, but for you to be faithful and loyal to him.  Isaiah 43:7 says he created us for his glory.  He didn't create us so that we can find fulfillment in ourselves or in anything else of their world, but in him.


Having said that, it is also important to note that God designed man and woman to be a unit.  He created Eve for Adam because it was not good that Adam should be alone (Gen 2:18).  He brought the two together and created "one flesh (Gen 2:24).


Perhaps it would please God for you to marry this girl.  Perhaps it would not.  Who really knows?  Is this a relationship that would help in bringing you closer to God?  If not, then it would not be wise to marry this girl.  One of the foremost qualities she should have is that she loves the Lord and puts him first, even before you.  The same goes for you.  The other qualities that a good, Christian spouse should have are all secondary to this.


I would recommend you go to your Christian bookstore and check out some books on marriage, dating, or courting by reputable Christian authors.  Focus on the Family has some good materials.  Joshua Harris has some good material on dating and courting.  H. Norman Wright, Gary Chapman, John Trent, Gary Smalley, Joe Beam, and many others have some excellent material to read.  Go and browse the bookstore, and also talk to your minister.


John Telgren

P.O. Box 452

Leavenworth, KS 66048


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