Title: Marriage
Purpose: To Help the Congregation Understand & Apply the Theology of Marriage
1. Satan will always be ready to try and give you offers to wreak havoc on marriage
2. Christians read a lot of books on marriage these days.
3. What about what the Bible says about marriage?
4. 4 issues in marriage:
I. Finding the Right Mate
A. How important is it to find a good wife? What does Bible say?
1. Proverbs 12:4; 17:1; 19:13-14; 21:9
2. Choose the wrong mate, and it can be a pretty miserable existence
3. Does the Bible say anything about FINDING a mate?
4. Note: May have no desire to mary
a. I Cor 7:7-9
b. Singleness is a gift, if you can remain single
c. However, it is better to marry than to burn
B. Gen 24
1. History:
a. Abraham became a worshipper of YHWH (Gen 12:8)
b. Promise will come, but sin of Amorite not yet full (Gen 15:16)
2. Abraham did not want Isaac to be married to a Canaanite (why?)
a. He sends his servant back home to his family
b. Servant prays about finding the right woman
c. Did he look for someone of like faith?
-It is not mentioned in this story
-Josh 24:2; Gen. 31:19 - Abraham’s family were polytheists
d. His criteria: One who drew water for him and camels - Rebekah (servanthood)
e. She constented to go, (they had never seen each other before)
f. (Gen 24:65-67) - Took into mother’s tent, she became his wife
3. Just because someone a Christian doesn’t mean will make a good wife
4. There are a number of other things to look for
a. Responsible, make a living, honest, respects parents
b. Typically, we are motivated more by feelings than common sense
c. A suitable wife was found for Isaac, and they never met each other!!
C. I knew a man who was looking for a wife while in school
1. Went on mission trip, and decided he wanted a Russian girl for a wife
2. He put it on prayer list
3. Last time we went, I met his new Russian wife
4. He was willing to go to great lengths to find a good wife
D. How important is it to find a good wife?
1. If you are a parent, it is your responsibility to teach your kids
a. Don’t avoid the subject, if it doesn’t come up, make time for it
b. Aside from becoming a Christian it is the most important life-changing event
2. If you are single (or a parent)
a. Pray to God as the servant did to find the right person
b. Don’t be led by your emotions, rather, lead your emotions
3. In any case, you must decide early what to look for in a mate
II. The Commitment before Marriage
A. Today there are levels of commitment
1. Dating level
2. “Promise Ring” level
3. Engaged level
4. Only the last is mentioned in scripture
B. For such an important event in life, does the Bible give guidance for “dating”
1. Problem with Dating as it is:
a. String of short term relationships is training ground for divorce
b. It is deceitful to enter a relationship knowing it will be temporary but acting like it promises to be much more
2. The only relationships metioned in Bible:
a. Parents & Other relatives
b. Husband and Wife
c. Brother and Sister in Christ
d. Betrothed
- This was not a temporary “try out period”
- Took a divorce to dissolve a betrothal
-Decision was already firm
-Just hadn’t been formalized yet
e. There is no such thing as “going steady”
- this would have been considered foolish
- It may have even been considered immoral
3. Two passages of scripture that help to shed some light on this
a. I Thess 4:3-5 - How not to aquire/possess a wife
b. I Timothy 5:1-2
C. I really didn’t go on a "date" until I was seventeen
1. I was criticized by a friend of mine because I scared girls off
2. He said I was too serious about dating
3. I was told not to date anyone I wouldn’t marry
D. What to do
1. Do not shop for what you can’t afford (If not ready to get married, no relationship)
2. Focus on becoming right
a. Most concentrate on finding the life partner
b. Focus on becoming the right life partner
c. Leave the who and when up to God
3. Parents, it wont be long till your kids want to date.... what are you going to do?
III. The Marriage
A. What constitutes a person being married? (nowdays, gone out of style)
B. Biblical Teaching and Examples
1. “Becoming One Flesh” describes the first union
a. Adam & Eve (Gen. 2:24 - Authors Comments)
b. (Dt. 21:10-14) - Go into her
c. Isaac (Gen 24:67 - Took into mother’s tent)
2. It was more than that
a. Mal 2:14-16 - Marriage is a covenant (covenants are permanent)
b. God’s ideal was marriage for life
3. What if someone wanted to engage in “One Flesh” without covenant?
a. Example: (2 Sam 13:12-16)
-It was against the law to have sister (which he did)
-It was a greater wrong in sending her away (what that mean?)
b. (Dt 22:28-29) - Shotgun weddings around for a long time
c. Taking responsibility meant to keep and care for them
d. Message: This action solemnizes a marriage (consumates)
4. Marriage is much more than just a social contract
a. (Matt 19:4-6) - What GOD has joined together, let no man separate
b. Marriages are made in Heaven (Remain faithful to spouse, is faithful to God himself)
C. Remember that there are three involved in a marriage
1. You, your spouse, and God
2. You are to remain faithful for life
IV. Life Together
A. More is said about the actual marriage relationship than about getting married
B. Biblical Principles
1. Role distinctions
a. Fathers commanded to teach sons
b. I Cor 11:3 - Christ head of man head of woman, God head of Christ
c. Eph 5:22-29 - Women submit, Husbands Love, nourish and cherish
2. Partners in inheritance (Gal 3:28)
C. My Dad always had the final word in the house. But he always valued my mom’s judgement
D. Do not even think about marrying someone you wont submit to and respect
1. This sermon does not deal with different scenarios, but with God’s Ideal
2. If have questions, come and see me
3. Parents: Need to start now in teaching your children these things
4. The single and looking, be friends (brother and sister in Christ)