Title: Marriage
Purpose: To Help the Congregation Understand & Apply the Theology of Marriage
Intro:
- 1. Satan will always be ready to try and give you offers to wreak havoc on marriage
- 2. Christians read a lot of books on marriage these days.
- 3. What about what the Bible says about marriage?
- 4. 4 issues in marriage:
I. Finding the Right Mate
- A. How important is it to find a good wife? What does Bible say?
- 1. Proverbs 12:4; 17:1; 19:13-14; 21:9
- 2. Choose the wrong mate, and it can be a pretty miserable existence
- 3. Does the Bible say anything about FINDING a mate?
- 4. Note: May have no desire to mary
- a. I Cor 7:7-9
- b. Singleness is a gift, if you can remain single
- c. However, it is better to marry than to burn
- B. Gen 24
- 1. History:
- a. Abraham became a worshipper of YHWH (Gen 12:8)
- b. Promise will come, but sin of Amorite not yet full (Gen 15:16)
- 2. Abraham did not want Isaac to be married to a Canaanite (why?)
- a. He sends his servant back home to his family
- b. Servant prays about finding the right woman
- c. Did he look for someone of like faith?
- -It is not mentioned in this story
- -Josh 24:2; Gen. 31:19 - Abraham’s family were polytheists
- d. His criteria: One who drew water for him and camels - Rebekah (servanthood)
- e. She constented to go, (they had never seen each other before)
- f. (Gen 24:65-67) - Took into mother’s tent, she became his wife
- 3. Just because someone a Christian doesn’t mean will make a good wife
- 4. There are a number of other things to look for
- a. Responsible, make a living, honest, respects parents
- b. Typically, we are motivated more by feelings than common sense
- c. A suitable wife was found for Isaac, and they never met each other!!
- C. I knew a man who was looking for a wife while in school
- 1. Went on mission trip, and decided he wanted a Russian girl for a wife
- 2. He put it on prayer list
- 3. Last time we went, I met his new Russian wife
- 4. He was willing to go to great lengths to find a good wife
- D. How important is it to find a good wife?
- 1. If you are a parent, it is your responsibility to teach your kids
- a. Don’t avoid the subject, if it doesn’t come up, make time for it
- b. Aside from becoming a Christian it is the most important life-changing event
- 2. If you are single (or a parent)
- a. Pray to God as the servant did to find the right person
- b. Don’t be led by your emotions, rather, lead your emotions
- 3. In any case, you must decide early what to look for in a mate
II. The Commitment before Marriage
- A. Today there are levels of commitment
- 1. Dating level
- 2. “Promise Ring” level
- 3. Engaged level
- 4. Only the last is mentioned in scripture
- B. For such an important event in life, does the Bible give guidance for “dating”
- 1. Problem with Dating as it is:
- a. String of short term relationships is training ground for divorce
- b. It is deceitful to enter a relationship knowing it will be temporary but acting like it promises to be much more
- 2. The only relationships metioned in Bible:
- a. Parents & Other relatives
- b. Husband and Wife
- c. Brother and Sister in Christ
- d. Betrothed
- - This was not a temporary “try out period”
- - Took a divorce to dissolve a betrothal
- -Decision was already firm
- -Just hadn’t been formalized yet
- e. There is no such thing as “going steady”
- - this would have been considered foolish
- - It may have even been considered immoral
- 3. Two passages of scripture that help to shed some light on this
- a. I Thess 4:3-5 - How not to aquire/possess a wife
- b. I Timothy 5:1-2
- c. Message: BE FRIENDS, NOT LOVERS
- C. I really didn’t go on a "date" until I was seventeen
- 1. I was criticized by a friend of mine because I scared girls off
- 2. He said I was too serious about dating
- 3. I was told not to date anyone I wouldn’t marry
- D. What to do
- 1. Do not shop for what you can’t afford (If not ready to get married, no relationship)
- 2. Focus on becoming right
- a. Most concentrate on finding the life partner
- b. Focus on becoming the right life partner
- c. Leave the who and when up to God
- 3. Parents, it wont be long till your kids want to date.... what are you going to do?
III. The Marriage
- A. What constitutes a person being married? (nowdays, gone out of style)
- B. Biblical Teaching and Examples
- 1. “Becoming One Flesh” describes the first union
- a. Adam & Eve (Gen. 2:24 - Authors Comments)
- b. (Dt. 21:10-14) - Go into her
- c. Isaac (Gen 24:67 - Took into mother’s tent)
- 2. It was more than that
- a. Mal 2:14-16 - Marriage is a covenant (covenants are permanent)
- b. God’s ideal was marriage for life
- 3. What if someone wanted to engage in “One Flesh” without covenant?
- a. Example: (2 Sam 13:12-16)
- -It was against the law to have sister (which he did)
- -It was a greater wrong in sending her away (what that mean?)
- b. (Dt 22:28-29) - Shotgun weddings around for a long time
- c. Taking responsibility meant to keep and care for them
- d. Message: This action solemnizes a marriage (consumates)
- e. POINT: "One Flesh" is ONLY FOR MARRIAGE
- 4. Marriage is much more than just a social contract
- a. (Matt 19:4-6) - What GOD has joined together, let no man separate
- b. Marriages are made in Heaven (Remain faithful to spouse, is faithful to
God himself)
- C. Remember that there are three involved in a marriage
- 1. You, your spouse, and God
- 2. You are to remain faithful for life
IV. Life Together
- A. More is said about the actual marriage relationship than about getting married
- B. Biblical Principles
- 1. Role distinctions
- a. Fathers commanded to teach sons
- b. I Cor 11:3 - Christ head of man head of woman, God head of Christ
- c. Eph 5:22-29 - Women submit, Husbands Love, nourish and cherish
- 2. Partners in inheritance (Gal 3:28)
- C. My Dad always had the final word in the house. But he always valued my mom’s judgement
- D. Do not even think about marrying someone you wont submit to and respect
Conclusion
- 1. This sermon does not deal with different scenarios, but with God’s Ideal
- 2. If have questions, come and see me
- 3. Parents: Need to start now in teaching your children these things
- 4. The single and looking, be friends (brother and sister in Christ)
- 5. DON’T FORGET TO PRAY ABOUT IT, INVOLVE GOD!!!!