Title: Honorable Marriage
Purpose: To motivate Chrisitians to maintain purity and love in their marriages

Intro:	1.  Chapter 13 final practical messages  Started with love
	2.  Now, progression naturally moves to marriage
	3.  Text:  Heb 13:4  -  How to hold marriage in honor.  Fidelity  (three types)

I.  Marital Fidelity
	A.  Let marriage be held in honor (among all / in all respects)
	B.  Need to understand marriage
		1.  Gen 2:18-23
			a.  Paradigm for marriage (the ideal)
			b.  Some say it is not paradigm
			c.  But notice Gen 2:24-25 - Not Adam’s words, but a commentary
				-Bone of my bone
				-Were separate, but God took & fashioned something beautiful
				-GOD brought her back to man and the 2 became ONE
			d.  So, as in the Garden, God unites in marriage
		2.  Malachi 2:14 - Marriage is a covenant
			a.  Covenant is an irrevokable agreement
			b.  Covenant to do what?
				-Be a wife, be a husband
				-Be a companion  EXCLUSIVELY
			c.  How was covenant violated?
				-First of all, note that no fornication was mentioned specifically
				-Dealt with her treacherously
				-Divorced her (God said “I hate divorce”)
		3.  God HATES divorce - Divorce dissolves a union made by God
		4.  God’s plan for marriage - One man - One woman  FOR LIFE
	C.  On talk show some time ago, interviewing an actor
		1.  Well known for romantic roles on film
		2.  Predictably, was asked  “What makes a great lover?”
		3.  Everyone expected a typical macho answer
		4.  He surprised everyone:
	“A great lover is someone who can satisfy one woman all her life long, and who can be
satisfied by one woman all his life long.  A great lover is not someone who goes from woman to
woman.  Any dog can do that.”
	D.  God’s plan is for you to be married to your spouse for life
		1.  You honor marriage by recognizing this as a life long relationship
		2.  You honor your spouse by working to make it a good relationship
		3.  You honor both yourself and your spouse as well as God by remaining faithful

That brings me to our next point this morning

II.  Sexual Fidelity
	A.  Text says to let the marriage bed be undefiled, for fornicators and adulterers God
	    will judge
	B.  Explanation
		1.  First of all, don’t want to get into all issues of divorce & remarriage
			-liable to spark questions, come see me
		2.  Fornication & Adultery are both wrong, but they are not the same thing
			a.  Fornication is any illicit sexual act (is wrong) Dt 22:22-30
				- (v.22) - Man with married woman - death
				- (v.23-27) - Engaged, death depend on cry out
				- (v. 28-30) - Not engaged, get married
				-POINT:  One place and only one place for sexual fulfillment
			b.  Adultery - Breaking covenant by defilement
				-In context of marriage, breaking covenant of being one with
				 spouse by being joined to another.
		3.  In context of relationship with God, adultery (like marriage) is breaking of 
		     covenant of being joined with him.
			a.  Jer 3:6-10 - One example is the spiritual Adultery of Israel
			b.  James 4:4 - “You adultereses, do you not know that friendship with
			    the world is hostility towards God?  Therefore whoever wishes to be
			    a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God”
		4.  Does any of the spiritual adultery stuff have application in marriage?  
		5.  You can commit “spiritual adultery” against God without fornication, can you
		    in marriage as well?
			a.  People say “You can look but you can’t touch”
			b.  Haven’t been unfaithful when I just look right?
			c.  No Adultery when I look right?
			d.  I think we misunderstand something about adultery
		6.  Jews argued over this for centuries
			a.  Shammai and Hillel(popular) - Hillel said any reason, even if find
			    more desirable woman to be a wife.
			b.  You had to give current wife permission to marry a again - 
			c.  All nice and neat and legal like
				-Read Matt 19:9 - Even when no infidelity, still it is adultery
		7.  Matt 5:27-28 - Adultery without fornication  Adultery begins in the heart!
			a.  World says can look but not touch - WRONG
			b.  We are talking about sin that begins in the heart long before it
			    comes out in an affair or divorce
	C.  What is in store for you if you commit adultery.  In family, job, and relationship
	     with kids, etc.  
	D.  Do not even toy with the idea
		1.  World says look but dont touch, GOD says don’t look, and you wont touch
		2.  When make vows, you agree to belong to each other exclusively while on earth

That brings us to the final type of fidelity

III.  Emotional Fidelity
	A.  Although it is not specifically mentioned, it is implied
	B.  Explanation
		1.  It not good for Adam to be alone, so God made a companion
			a.  Made for each other
			b.  God made your spouse for you.  You promised to hold and cherish spouse
		2.  Emotional Fidelity was what we learned in His Needs Her Needs
			a.  Learn to recognize most important emotional needs
			b.  Learn to recognize destrictive behavior that destroys intimacy
			c.  Learn to become experts at meeting needs
		3.  Eph 5:25-31 - Talks indirectly about this
			a.  Passage in Genesis quoted - Two become one (not just sex, it is not
			    mentioned here)
			b.  Husbands love wives as Christ loved the church
				-Love her like Jesus
				-Gave self up (think of her first)
				-Cleanse her (Ready to forgive, no grudges)
				-No spot or wrinkle (only sees the best in you & brings it out)
			c.  What this means
				-Avoid Disrespect
				-Only say what will build up
				-Listen and communicate
		4.  This just doesn’t work one way (Eph 5:22-24)
			a.  Wives need to serve husbands as part of their service to God
			b.  Everything I said for husbands, ditto for wives.
	C.  So you need to be faithful not only by staying married, by sexual fidelity, but by 
	      emotional fidelity as well.
		1.  If you are dissatisfied, don’t wait
		2.  If you let it go, it wont go away.
		3.  If you want to honor (value) your marriage, then safegaurd it.  See a 
	D.  ILL:  On the nature of marriage relationship:  Matthew Henry said
	“A woman was not made made from man’s head to top him, nor out of his
feet to be tramples upon by him, but out of his side, to be his companion, under his
arm to be  protected, and near his heart to be loved”

1.  So, honoring your marriage means fidelity
	a.  Marital Fidelity - Stay married for life
	b.  Sexual Fidelity
	c.  Emotional Fidelity - Support eachother emotionally

2.  God is serious about this

3.  If you honor your marriage in this way, it will be as God intended it to be