Intro:

1. When I dated Stacey, friend of mine Brian said if I get married, I’m going to pay for it, well I did and still do...

2. Text I Cor 7:1-6

3. If your going to get married, you must pay for it

a. The text says "let the husband render the debt..."

b. Doesn’t teach the duty of one at the expense of the other

4. Why must you pay for it? Reasons:

A. Notice the plural, there are all kinds of temptations, so you must render your duty

B. Is this the only reason for marriage?

1. Marriage is for companionship:

a. Adam could not find a helper suitable for him in the garden

b. God said "it is not good for man to be alone"

c. God made Eve

d. (Eph 5:25) - Husbands love wives as Christ loved the church just as Christ loved the church...

e. (Tit 2:3-4) - Older women to teach younger to love their husbands

2. To raise family (Gen 1:28) Be fruitful and multiply

3. Each is to have his own wife or husband (singular)

4. Temptations can come because needs go unmet, so render duty to spouse

a. Have to understand needs, be aware of them

b. Your needs are not necessarily the same as your spouse's

c. People usually don’t decide to have an affair, someone else starts to meet needs, and one thing leads to another...

C. Some warning signs of trouble are when you handle problems by

1. Open Warefare - Leads to more trouble and/or divoirce

2. Cold War - Leads only to more trouble and divorce

3. Withdrawal - Turn anger inward on self, leads to emotional & physical problems

4. Total Submission - Give in to avoid a problem, in time develop resentment

D. How strong is your marriage?

1. Don’t ever say it can never happen to me!

2. Rom 11:20 - "Do not be conceited, but fear"

3. If a man like David can fall, what makes you think you cant?

4. I Pet 5:8 "be on the alert, your adversary, the devil prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour"

5. What can you do?

a. Pray for your marriage

b. Pray with your spouse

c. Read good Christian books about marriage

d. Take every opportunity to strengthen your marriage

- we take continuing ed for our jobs, why not for marriage

- we do safety & maintenence inspections ot houses and at job, why not one for your marriage, which should be much more important?

e. Cracks in the foundation may not yet be noticable, but fix them now!! (You have to pay for it)

A. You do not have authority over yourself (v.4) see also I Cor 6:19

B. When you get married you relinquish yourself to your spouse

1. You didn’t belong to yourself to begin with, but to God

2. Matthew 19:6 - "What God has joined together, let no man separate"

3. When you marry someone, you make a covenant with them (Malachi 2:14)

a. Penalty for breaking a convenant was death (adultery=death)

b. God said you could be released only in three ways:

1) Infidelity (Matthew 19:9)

2) If spouse dies (I Cor 7:39)

3) If spouse is unbeliever and leaves (I Cor 7:15)

4. I Peter 3:1-6 - Wives (more about what this authority entails)

a. Wives be submissive to husbands

b. Make self attractive by godly, quiet, submissive behavior

c. Sarah called Husband "Lord" (or sir), if you do, you are her daughters

5. I Peter 3:7

a. Doesn’t tell husbands to be submissive, but does say be understanding

b. Honor your wife (means to show how you value her)

c. What are some ways you can show how you value your wife?

6. Seriously, if you do what these verses say, spouse will WANT to do what it says

C. Symptoms of a sick marriage (Lindsay Curtis)

1. When common courtesies are abandoned

2. When couples begin to think in terms of I instead of we

3. When they stop complimenting each other

4. When stubborn silence replaces common sense communication

5. When they fail to sense and meet the needs of each other

6. When they fail to express love

7. When they stop praying together

D. If any of these hit home, you are not paying what is due, not being submissive or living in an understanding way

1. You must render your duty to your spouse, your marriage

2. They have a right to know what you are thinking

3. You have a responsibility to listen, and fulfill their needs.

4. "Nothing good happens in bed, unless good things were happening before bed"

5. What to do?

a. Pray for your marriage

b. Pray with your spouse

c. Read good Christian books about marriage

d. Take every opportunity to strengthen your marriage

- we take continuing ed for our jobs, why not for marriage

- we do safety & maintenence inspections ot houses and at job, why not one for your marriage, which should be much more important?

e. Cracks in the foundation may not yet be noticable, but fix them now!!

1. You must render your spouse their due (you have to pay for it):

a. Because of immoralities

b. Because of Authority

3. Its foolish not to do periodic inspections and maintenence on any working equipment

4. Many get Continuing Ed & training for their professions and get a raise, what about your marriage?

5. Don’t be so confident and arrogant to think you don’t need this (If David, a man after God's own heart fell, so can you)